June 3rd - Five Years After
by SleptWithTheZucchini
Summary: Lorelai would do almost anything to marry the love of her life on June 3rd, but some things were just not meant to be. She decided to leave Stars Hollow and start a new life for herself. What happens when they see each other again on June 3rd, five years after the wedding that never happened? *Chapter 6 formatting issue corrected*
1. August 2005: The Breakup

**Chapter 1 – August 2005: The Breakup**

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

The diner phone rang, and Luke picked it up without thinking. "Luke's."

"Hey, it's me."

"Lorelai?"

She sounded distant. "Can you come over?"

"To your place?"

She cringed at his words. Even after they renovated the Crap Shack for the two of them, he still called it _her_ place. Not _their_ place. Not _home_. Just _her_ place. After a pause, she said, "Yes. Now. We… we need to talk."

"About what?" Luke asked. When she didn't reply, he sighed. "Look, it's still busy here, but I'll be there as soon as the place clears out, okay?"

There were a few minutes of awkward silence. "Sure."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

It took him two hours to finally drag himself to Lorelai's. He knew they weren't in the best place in their relationship right now, and he's been avoiding her lately. He wasn't stupid – he knew their problems started when he found out about April and kept it from her. She never said anything and always had a smile on her face when they were together, but he knew something was off. He guessed it was probably about his decision not to let her meet April officially. Or maybe it was his evasiveness whenever she wanted to set a new date for their postponed wedding. To be honest, he really had no energy or desire to delve into the reasons at this moment. That's why he kept asking Lorelai to give him time whenever she tried to talk to him about meeting April or setting a new date. Dealing with the idea that he was a father – _a father!_ – was all he could take right now. He couldn't really think of anything else.

Deep down he knew they had to talk, but he wasn't looking forward to this. A part of him hoped that she fell asleep waiting for him, but his heart sank when he saw the living room lights on. She was waiting for him, and there was no way out. Maybe he could excuse himself after an hour using early bread deliveries as an excuse again. He took a deep breath and knocked.

He heard an annoyed sigh. "You don't need to knock, Luke. You have a key to this place," he heard her calling out – probably from the kitchen or from upstairs, judging by the distant sound of her voice. "And the door is unlocked anyway."

Luke shrugged and went in. The door was unlocked as usual. "Sorry I took so long, I…" he began, then stopped abruptly when he saw several boxes and luggage scattered across the living room. "What's… what's this?"

Lorelai glanced briefly at her watch. "I didn't expect you to take this long to come. After all, the diner was empty when I called."

He stuttered. "Wh-what?"

"I was right outside when I called you earlier, Luke. There was nobody in the diner. The place was closed. Still it took you two hours to come here."

"I.. It wasn't…"

"I don't have time for your excuses," she replied brusquely, moving around quickly and taping boxes shut. "Since it took you two hours, we have only about thirty minutes left to talk."

Luke remained standing, confused. "Thirty minutes? I… I don't understand. Lorelai. What's happening?"

"I need to be at the airport soon. A taxi is coming here to pick me up in thirty minutes." She was a flurry of energy, not staying still. She refused to even look at him. He walked to her and gripped her arm gently, trying to get her to stop moving, but she flinched and shrugged his hand away with a dirty look.

"I still don't understand. Can we… can we sit down at least?"

Lorelai gave him a quick glance and took in his bewildered expression. She took pity and went to the kitchen and sat down. Luke quickly followed and sat across from her.

"So I'm leaving," she said evenly.

"What? W-why? For how long? Where are you going?" he asked in a rush.

"You need time with April. That's what you told me way too many times," she said flatly. "You need time with April without me hanging around. So I'm leaving." She pulled something from her pocket and slid it over to him without looking.

He looked in surprise to see the engagement ring on the table. "You're breaking up with me?" he said in disbelief.

She gave him a sarcastic smile while shaking her head. It chilled him to the bone. He has never seen her like this – so cold, so distant, so… angry. It wasn't the red hot fury that he had seen before, where she would shout and say whatever came to her head. It was cold, seething anger bleeding out through her sarcastic words. "What, you didn't think I could do it, did you?"

"I never said that…"

"Oh, but that's what you thought, Luke. You knew something was wrong with me, with us. You knew I was too scared to say anything because if I did, you'd break up with me. Just like last time. And you knew I'd fall apart and come crawling back to you."

"No, Lorelai, I…"

"We don't have much time," she cut him off bitingly. "I have things I need to say. And since I've spent the past – what – eight months – not saying anything, I think I deserve the right to be heard now, don't you agree?"

Luke looked at her with an inscrutable expression on his face. She refused to look at him, opting to look at her watch, the window, the space above his head – anywhere except his eyes. He sighed and said in a resigned tone, "Go ahead."

"You don't love me."

"That's not true…"

"You really don't, Luke. Maybe you did before. Or maybe it was just some weird infatuation for you. You thought you wanted a girl for eight years – but when you got her, I guess you realized it was more than you bargained for, huh?"

"Lorelai…"

"Just stop. When was the last time you stayed here?"

The question stumped him. "I, uh… a few days ago?"

"More than a week ago. You want to know how I know?" He looked at her but didn't bother to reply. "Because I started packing seven days ago. If you only dropped by once – _once –_ within the last seven days, you would have seen the boxes, and you would have asked me what was going on, and maybe we could still have worked things out."

"Lorelai…"

"Do you even remember the last time we slept together?" Luke shook his head wordlessly. She gave him a bitter smile. "It was at New York. _Two months ago_. I asked you to go there for a weekend with me – I made all the plans, booked the hotel. All you had to do was drive and spend time with your fiancée _._ If you even still considered me that. But you couldn't even last the entire weekend with me. Because the moment Anna called, you had to leave. Never mind about your own _fiancée."_ She shook her head incredulously. "Man, I felt like such a loser."

"I… I don't know what to say…"

"That New York trip was my pathetic attempt to remind you that you had a _fiancée,_ which you seem to forget whenever it came to Anna or April. I mean, you never even told me about your own daughter. I wasn't allowed to meet her. I wasn't allowed to talk to her. Never mind that the whole town spent time with her."

"Lorelai…"

"You never even realized the significance of the New York weekend, did you? You went back to Stars Hollow by yourself on Sunday morning. You left me all alone in New York on June 3rd."

"June 3rd?" he asked, with a bewildered look on his face. "What's important about June 3rd?"

"Oh my goodness. You don't even know what June 3rd is," she said, standing up angrily.

"Lorelai, please…"

"Oh, June 3rd is only the date when we were supposed to get married. No big deal," she said icily, walking to the living room.

Luke sat frozen on the spot. After a few seconds, he recovered sufficiently to follow Lorelai, who was zipping up her luggage and wheeling it to the door. "Lorelai, I'm so sorry… I didn't realize…"

"Did you know I packed my wedding dress for the New York trip?" she said, finally looking at him. Her eyes were cold and distant. "I had this really stupid idea that I could convince you to go and get married in New York. Rory was on standby that day – she was going to drive up to be there for the wedding. But I never got to ask you to marry me since you were in such a rush to leave."

"I… I don't know what to say…"

"You know how I spent the rest of what should have been our wedding day? I put on my wedding dress and drank everything in the mini bar. Then I got a bottle of tequila because it still wasn't enough to make me stop feeling the hurt. Man, I got wasted," she snickered. "Rory had to come to calm me down. Apparently, I drunk dialled her and she got really worried. I didn't even remember, I just woke up the next day with a massive hangover. But at least, for once, I didn't wake up alone in bed. There was someone with me. My _daughter_. Because my _fiancé_ always had early deliveries or dinner with his daughter or any other stupid excuse not to sleep with me."

"Lorelai, please…" He suddenly wondered if that was the reason he hasn't seen Rory for some time now. He heard from Lane that she still went back to Stars Hollow most weekends, but she never went to the diner. He chalked it up to her busy schedule and never bothered to ask Lorelai. Was she avoiding him after all?

"But even after that, I wasn't ready to give up on you, on us. You know when I gave up? Two weeks ago. I went to the diner as usual – because that's the only time I would see you, since you wouldn't come here – and I tried to talk about what our future would be. I asked if you still saw yourself getting married to me. You mumbled yes, but you wouldn't look me in the eye and kept wiping the counter. I tried to ignore it and kept up my cheery façade. I asked if you still wanted to have kids with me, and talked about how gorgeous our kids would be, with their dark hair and blue eyes. Do you remember what you said?"

"No, I, uh, I really don't."

"You said, 'I already have a kid.'"

"I…"

"Oh, no need for explanations now," she said sarcastically. "I heard you loud and clear. No marriage, no kids. So where does that put me? Forever in the fiancée limbo? I didn't even feel like a fiancée or hell, even just a girlfriend, for the past few months. So that's when I started making plans to go."

He was quiet for a moment, letting her words sink in. "But… but where are you going?"

"Sorry Luke, but that's none of your business anymore. We're over. I don't need to tell you anything. In fact, if you don't want to hear my crap anymore, you're welcome to leave anytime."

"Does… does Rory know where you're going?"

"I don't think you realize this isn't some impulsive road trip like the time I ended my engagement with Max. This is planned. Of course, Rory knows where I'm going. Sookie and Jackson know. Michel knows. Hell, even my parents know. This was something I've discussed with them on and off for several months. They knew this would happen when I reach my breaking point. Which I did two weeks ago."

"So all those people knew you were breaking up with me and leaving me before you even told _me_?"

Lorelai gave a short, sardonic laugh which grated on his ears. This was a side of Lorelai he never knew existed. " _I'm_ leaving _you_?" she asked in disbelief. "Buddy, _you_ left _me_ several months ago. You've already checked out of this relationship. I was just the idiot who kept trying to hold on to you." She paused for a minute, trying to control her anger. "You know why I did, even though it hurt like hell? Because I loved you. Because I thought you were the one for me. Because I thought you were my only chance to get the whole package."

"You can still get the whole package, Lorelai… We, we just need to talk…"

"The days for talking are long gone," she said in a cold voice. "I've been trying to talk to you for months. Months. I don't even care about getting the whole package anymore. I just want to be whole again." She felt that she was on the verge of breaking down so she stopped and cleared her throat to keep her emotions in check. When she spoke again, her voice was calmer, softer. "I've just… I've been way too hurt, Luke. My pride can't take it anymore. My heart is already in a million pieces – there's not one piece big enough left for you to break. I can't go on like this. I want to be whole again. To be me again. That's why I have to go."

"Lorelai, please…"

"Luke. I just want to be happy. You said before that's what you want for me, right?

"Yes, but…"

"I thought you were the one who would make me happy. Really, I did. I mean – it's just like in the movies, you know? The guy you've known forever, your closest friend, turns out to be the love of your life. It's so _When Harry Met Sally._ It's your standard chick flick plot. You talked about keeping the horoscope for eight years and being all in on our first date. And I sat there thinking, _This is it! This is what I've been waiting for my whole life!_ "

"Lorelai," he said quietly.

"But you're not the one," she said quietly. "I don't even believe in there being a one for me anymore… I don't know. Maybe I'll meet someone else. Maybe I won't. It doesn't matter. I just want to be happy again. I haven't been this unhappy in my whole life. And I don't think I'm the one who can make you happy either. It looks to me like April… and, and Anna," she choked on the name, "It looks like they are who you really need in your life right now."

"No, Lorelai, no, you don't understand…"

Lorelai glanced at her watch. "We have ten minutes left."

"Call off the taxi. I'll… I'll drive you to the airport myself, if I can't convince you to stay. I just need more time with you."

"Oh please," she said shortly, while rolling her eyes. Her surge of emotion has passed. "Just a few hours ago, you couldn't be bothered to come here, and now you're like, every minute counts."

"Lorelai…"

"So back to business. I'm leaving. I don't know for how long, or if I'll come back to Stars Hollow. I'm renting out this place for the meantime, since I'll need some extra cash. I already mailed a cheque to you to pay for the Dragonfly loan and the home renovations."

"What?"

"I didn't want to leave feeling indebted to you in anyway."

"I don't care about the money."

"I do. I need a clean break, Luke. Oh, and after tonight, you can't call me anymore."

"Lorelai…"

"I won't pick up if you try to call me, Luke. I'm warning you." A car horn broke the silence. Lorelai peered outside. "That's my taxi. I need to go."

"Lorelai, this can't be it…"

She turned to him and saw the panic and pain in his eyes. The emotions she's been trying to hide behind her angry façade came rushing back and choked her. She looked at him for several minutes then smiled sadly as she reached up and touched his scruffy cheeks. "Goodbye, Luke. Don't feel too bad. You're a good man. You're a good dad. The last few months was hard for me but I know you'll do better next time. Just… just don't take anything else in your life for granted, okay?"

"Lorelai, please… I'm so sorry…"

She gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I know you are, hon," she replied, unconsciously using an old term of endearment. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll be happy again. And you'll be fine too. April's a great kid."

He tried to wrap her in his arms for maybe the last time, but she quickly moved away. "Lorelai…"

"Goodbye, Luke. Please leave your key with Babette tomorrow."

And with those words, she walked out of the door with her luggage in tow, not even looking back at the man she left standing rooted on the spot.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-


	2. May 2006: The Graduation Party

**Chapter 2 – May 2006: The Graduation Party**

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

It has been nine long months since Luke last saw Lorelai. He tried calling her every day at first, not willing to accept that it was the end for them. However, as she warned, she never picked up his calls. He tried talking to Sookie but she refused to listen to him and only gave snide remarks – very unlike her usual sunny disposition. He even ran after Rory once when he saw her at the gazebo on a weekend home from Yale, but she wouldn't even look him in the eyes and excused herself quickly.

A young couple with two-year-old twins rented the Crap Shack soon after Lorelai left. He would sometimes drive by the house and park on the other side, watching the family lounge around in the front porch, or play in the yard. _That should have been us_ , he thought sadly to himself.

He remembered Lorelai's dream when they were still just friends – that they were married, and she was pregnant with twins. At that time, he could barely contain the thrill he felt, that even if it was just in her subconscious, she was once his wife. His _wife!_ Imagine that.

When he went to Babette to give back his key the day after Lorelai left, he dreaded the questions he would inevitably have to face. But Babette was unusually reticent. She didn't pry or ask him anything, and seemed to know exactly why he was giving up the key to the Crap Shack. She just took it in her hand, shook her head sadly and gave him a poignant look.

It was difficult for him to move on, so he focused his attention on April. Anna was kind to him, commiserating about the difficulty of being alone. He welcomed the companionship but got upset when she made comments like "Maybe she just can't deal with _you_ having a kid." It made him extremely uncomfortable, but he wondered in private if that was true sometimes. However, as soon as that thought crossed his mind, he would immediately shake it off, knowing that the existence of April was never the issue.

One day, when he drove April home from the diner, Anna invited him to join them for dinner. She sometimes did that out of courtesy but he never took her up on her offer. But that day, Rory refused to even look at him when he tried to talk to her, and he was more hurt than he would care to admit. He was feeling upset and a tad lonely, so he decided to say yes. Anna looked surprised but covered it up quickly, and April could barely contain her excitement. A thought crossed his mind unbidden – even though he lost Lorelai and Rory, maybe he'd get a shot with Anna and April.

He started coming by their house more often, wanting to see not only April but also Anna. As Luke and Anna spent more time together, the old familiarity they enjoyed when they were together thirteen years ago slowly came back. It wasn't because he was falling in love with Anna, far from it – it was more that he just wanted someone to talk to. And he had no one to talk to back in Stars Hollow.

After several months of friendship, Anna made the first move and kissed him one night. She looked at him with bright blue eyes, full of affection, and his first thought was that there used to be another pair of bright blue eyes that looked at him with so much love. He pulled back from the kiss and hurriedly said goodbye. She tried not to be too offended.

That night, he tried calling Lorelai again. He had to know if there was hope for them to get back together before he would even consider starting anything with Anna. To his disappointment, she still refused to take his call. He left a voicemail and asked her to call him back. He waited in vain for three days, but she never did.

After three days, he went to see Anna. He told her that he was not yet over Lorelai, but he wanted Anna to be a part of his life. Anna took his hand with kind understanding and smiled. They agreed to start dating and see where it took them. It took two more months for Luke to finally feel ready to move on and start the new chapter of his life. His first night with Anna felt strange, and he tried to convince himself that first times – even if it wasn't technically a first time – are always awkward affairs. He tried to forget what his first time with Lorelai was like – how it felt perfect, how it felt just right.

A month after he started the relationship with Anna, he heard from town gossips that Rory was graduating from Yale in a week and both mom and daughter were coming back to celebrate with the town with a big party.

He felt an inordinate amount of pride in Rory. Imagine – Lorelai's little girl was graduating from an Ivy League school! He fondly remembered the time he helped move her into her dorm. He and Lorelai were just friends then, but he was a part of their everyday lives and they were a part of his. He missed seeing both girls every day, hearing their chatter, serving them coffee and burgers and pie. _I wish I didn't screw things up,_ he thought to himself again, before shaking his head abruptly to try to forget.

There was no formal invitation to any of the townies – word travelled mostly by word of mouth, and everyone was invited. But Luke felt that it would be too awkward if he would just show up for the party. But it was his only chance to talk to Lorelai after their breakup and maybe get some closure, so he decided to try to see her.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Lorelai was back in Stars Hollow after nine months. Her baby was graduating from Yale and about to start a job soon – this requires a celebration with the town she loves.

Lorelai was excited to be back in town – though she and Rory will be staying at the Dragonfly since they rented the Crap Shack out – but she dreaded having to see a certain gruff diner man who broke her heart months ago. By all appearances, she seemed back to her normal bubbly self after the breakup, but she knew she was not over him yet.

"Do you think you'll get back together with Luke?" Sookie asked her for the third time in an hour, while Lorelai was snacking on some chocolates at the Dragonfly kitchen.

"I don't really want to think about it," Lorelai admitted with a sigh. "I can't have my hopes up and have them dashed into pieces again."

"I don't think he's seeing anyone," Sookie insisted. "I mean, if you still love him…"

"Look, Sookie, we had a horrible breakup," Lorelai explained patiently. "I never even gave him a chance to explain himself. I just up and left, and never took his calls. There was no closure for both of us."

"I know, but it's Luke…"

"That used to mean something, but not anymore…"

"I mean, he pined for you for years. Men like him don't just get over something like that."

"Really, Sookie, I know you're trying to make me feel better, but I need you to drop this," Lorelai said firmly. "You didn't see me after the breakup. I was a mess. Seriously. I was barely functioning during my first week at New Jersey. I've never been like that. I couldn't call you or Rory because I felt like nobody should see me that low. I'm better now, but I can't really afford to fall back into that hole."

Sookie said nothing at first and looked at her best friend with understanding in her eyes. "I'm sorry, hon. I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay, Sooks," Lorelai said. "Let's just drop this, okay?"

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Lorelai and Rory walked arm in arm through the town square, chatting animatedly and waving to townies they knew. They were on their way to Miss Patty's to say hi before visiting the Crap Shack tenants and seeing Babette and Morey.

Lane was serving Kirk his scrambled eggs with toast when she glanced up and saw the two. She hastily removed her apron and all but ran to the door, calling out, "I'm taking my break! Be back in 15 minutes." Luke was at the counter tinkering with an old watch and didn't even look up, but grunted in acknowledgment.

"Rory! Lorelai!" Lane shouted, trying to catch up to them. Both hugged her warmly when she finally caught up.

"Lane! Married life must really agree with you. You look great!" Lorelai said. "You guys want to be alone for a bit? I'm sure you have lots of girly secrets you want to talk about without little old me hanging around."

"No, actually I need to tell you something, Lorelai," Lane said, gasping for breath slightly. "Man, I have to start exercising!"

"Rest a bit, Lane," Rory said, looking concerned. "What do you need to tell my mom? Do I need to leave for this conversation?"

"No, no, you should both hear this from me before you hear it from someone else," Lane took a deep breath. "I think Luke is seeing someone."

Lorelai carefully kept her face a mask. "That's okay, hon, you knew we were broken up, right? He can see other people."

"Do you know who it is?" Rory asked curiously, glancing at her mother to see if she was okay.

"I'm… I'm pretty sure it's April's mom."

Lorelai couldn't stop herself from flinching. Both girls were looking at her with a concerned expression, so she tried to rally her spirits. They can't see her break apart over this news that she should have expected anyway. She cleared her throat. "Listen guys, why don't I head over to the gazebo for a bit? I just need to, uh, sit down before we go see Miss Patty. It will give you two time to catch up too."

"Are you okay, Mom?" Rory asked, concerned.

"Of course, sweets, I was just a bit… surprised I guess," Lorelai admitted. "But it shouldn't really matter since we've broken up anyway. I mean, _I_ broke up with _him_ , right? He can see whoever he likes." She turned to look at Lane, who had a guilty look on her face. "Hey Lane, thanks for telling me. You didn't have to, you know."

Lane nodded, "I'm sorry things didn't work out, Lorelai."

Lorelai bobbed her head up and down, trying to sound cheerful, "That's how life goes, hon. Nothing to worry about. Not everyone is as cool as you and Zack."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

When Luke heard that Lorelai was back in town, he knew instantly that he had to talk to her. Maybe not about the breakup – that would be awkward to discuss now – but just to catch up. After all, they've been friends for nearly a decade before they crossed the line. _There's no reason we can't still be friends_ , he reasoned to himself. _I should at least try._

He kept waiting for Lorelai or Rory to come by the diner to get coffee, or order hotdogs and burgers for the graduation party, or maybe, maybe even to invite him. But they never did. Lane assured him that he can drop by if he likes, but it didn't feel right to him to just show up.

He tried to see her at the Dragonfly, where he knew they were staying while they were in town, but the French putz Michel wouldn't let him. He finally decided to take his chances and drop by at the party before it ends.

On the day of the party, he stayed late at the diner, watching the townies celebrate Rory's graduation. They even had Rory recreate the scene when she went up the stage to get her diploma. He saw glimpses of Lorelai wearing a light blue sweater and jeans, laughing and chatting animatedly with the guests. He hoped he'd have a chance to talk to her before she left for god-knows-where.

He stayed at the diner waiting for the crowd to thin out, remembering another time when he stayed alone at the diner while the whole town celebrated with Lorelai. That time, they were celebrating her engagement to that pretentious teacher, Max. He wanted to go and try to be happy for his friend, but he just couldn't do it. He kept blaming himself for never even taking the chance to ask her out, but by then it was too late. But Lorelai sought him out that night and personally asked him to come. He wondered if she would do the same this time, but realized that she probably never would.

When the crowd started dwindling down, Luke finally left the diner and made his way quietly to the town square. He could see Lorelai sitting on a bench by herself, cradling a cup of what he can only assume was the potent Founder's Day punch.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Mind if I sit?"

Lorelai nearly jumped out in surprise. "Um, hi Luke!" she replied with forced cheerfulness, but her head kept craning from left to right, trying to find Rory or Sookie or anyone to save her from this uncomfortable position. "Sure, uh, sit."

He gingerly sat down at the end of the bench. "I haven't seen you in months. How have you been?"

"Great, I've been doing great," she said with an awkward smile.

"Do you mind if I ask where you're living now? I mean, I tried to ask a few people but they seem to clam up with me."

Lorelai looked surprised that he tried to find her. "I've, uh, been staying at New Jersey actually."

"Really? What are you doing there?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"I'm working for the Durham group now. You remember Mike Armstrong, the guy who wanted to buy the Dragonfly? I'm supposed to go to their properties that aren't doing too well and try to turn things around. It's a challenge, but good fun," she said, starting to babble in her nervousness. "And I guess I, uh, needed a change of scenery."

Luke nodded. "Yeah, I understand."

"So how have you been?" Lorelai asked casually, trying not to look too interested.

Luke shifted uncomfortably and stared at his feet. "Good, good. Uh, I'm actually, uh, seeing someone…" He couldn't look at her eyes. "It's, uh, it's Anna."

Lorelai felt a surge of gratitude that Lane had the foresight to warn her about this news. As such, she was able to keep her face a perfect mask of mild interest. "Oh, that's… that's good, Luke. I'm happy for you."

Luke felt his ears turn red in embarrassment. "It's still pretty new, but I… we thought we'd give it a shot for April's sake."

"Oh, you don't have to explain anything to me," Lorelai said, wanting to change the subject altogether.

"I just… I just don't want you getting ideas, that maybe it started when we were together."

Lorelai took a deep breath. This was getting more difficult than she thought it would be, but she needed to leave this conversation with her pride intact. "We shouldn't really be talking about any of this anymore," she said firmly. "We're not together. You don't need to explain anything."

"But I really need you to know that…"

"Listen, Luke, I know how it is with exes. Especially if you have a kid together. You don't have to explain anything to me," she replied, trying to make him understand that she wanted to drop the subject altogether.

Luke's eyebrows furrowed suddenly. _What did she mean? Was she back with that bastard Christopher too?_ "Are you and, uh, Christopher to-…" Lorelai gave him a look that silenced him instantly. He had no right to ask about her affairs. "I'm sorry, that was not appropriate."

"No, it wasn't appropriate for you to ask, Luke. And no, I'm not _with_ Chris if that's what you're asking," she said huffily. "We've been spending time together, yes, but it's only because of Gigi."

"Gigi?" he asked, confused.

"Sherry left him with their two-year-old daughter, Gigi," she explained with an annoyed look. "He struggles with being a father. I mean, he has Rory but he never really took care of her or anything, so he has no idea what to do. He just needs some help right now, and since _he_ thinks _I'm_ a great mom, he's been calling to ask for my help. They drive over to see me, or I go and see them in Boston."

He couldn't help but cringe at her underhanded reproach about how _he_ never wanted her help with April. How _he_ tried to keep her away from _his_ daughter. He tried to control the sudden spark of angry jealousy that he felt at the thought of her spending time with Christopher, but he couldn't. "So, I guess it's just _my_ calls you've been avoiding, huh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been calling you every day for months, Lorelai! You couldn't even spare ten seconds to answer my call and tell me you're okay. But the phone rings and you see it's Christopher, and of course, you'd answer it." _What the hell am I saying?_ he thought suddenly. _I'm with Anna now_. _I shouldn't care who she's with._

Lorelai looked at him in disbelief, anger making her face red. "Well, you want to know why? Because in all the years I've known Christopher, he's never hurt me as much as _you_ have!"

Luke suddenly felt like an ass. His anger was gone in a second. Here he was, in a relationship with _his_ ex, getting angry at Lorelai for spending time with _her_ ex. "You know, I, uh, never got to really apologize to you for everything," he said slowly after a moment of silence. "I'm sorry, Lorelai. I never meant to hurt you."

Lorelai looked at him. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Luke, we really shouldn't talk about this anymore, especially now that you're in a relationship with someone else." Luke started, suddenly remembering Anna and feeling a tinge of guilt. Lorelai stayed quiet for a moment, trying to decide what to say next. "But for what it's worth – I forgive you. And I'm sorry for my part too. I should have talked to you sooner. I shouldn't have just run away like I did. It was wrong of me to do it. I'm sorry."

Luke nodded, unable to speak. He couldn't help feeling like they were breaking up again. Unfortunately, one thing became crystal clear to him at that moment. Whatever he thought he had with Anna – it was a mistake. Lorelai was the only woman in the world for him. However, as these thoughts were running through his mind, she stood up to leave.

"So listen, I have to go find Sookie now," she said, obviously wanting to get away from him.

Luke reluctantly stood up as well. "Hey, do you mind giving Rory my gift?" he said, reaching for a small box in his pocket.

"Oh, I'm sure it would be better coming from you. She's around here somewhere," she said with a vague gesture towards the surroundings. "Anyway… it was good seeing you again, Luke. I'm glad you're happy with… with Anna and April." She gave him a wan smile. "I guess you're getting the whole package after all."

Luke swallowed hard, remembering how she used to talk about wanting the whole package for herself, and how he always dreamed she would get it with him. How times have changed. "Yeah… you too, Lorelai..."

As Lorelai walked away, she felt like this was finally, truly the end. In a way, she was glad. She can now really start moving on.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-


	3. May 2005: 3 Months Before the Breakup

**Chapter 3 – May 2005: Three Months Before the Breakup**

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Lorelai woke up with a start. She had a dream, and by instinct, she reached over to the other side of the bed to seek Luke's comfort. After feeling how cold the side of his bed was, she suddenly remembered that he didn't stay at the house again, choosing to sleep at his apartment. He said he had early deliveries, and gave an incoherent explanation about how his meat guy didn't show up the day before so he was coming tomorrow instead. She didn't even bother to offer to stay with him at his apartment for the night. He has said no too many times.

She stayed in bed for a while, twirling a strand of hair on her finger absent-mindedly. Luke has been drifting further and further away from her, and she didn't know what to do. At first, she thought that after their talk at Martha's Vineyard, things would change. That he would finally start letting her in. That he would finally set a wedding date. That they would finally start spending time together again, like a real couple. That he would figure out a way to fit in April into their lives. That they would get married, maybe have a kid together, and start their middle.

But things didn't change. She still wasn't allowed to see April or even help him with anything, even picking up a gift for April's birthday. She was still barred from the diner whenever April was there. The only exception was when he called her out of desperation to help with the dud of a party he threw for a bunch of teenage girls. She was so ecstatic at finally being let in to his life, and went all out for April and her friends. She got them movies and pizza and makeup. She gave them makeovers and a sleepover. She was the cool girlfriend, and everybody adored her – especially April.

But everything went downhill when Anna found out that she was there during April's party. Anna went ballistic on Luke, and instead of defending his fiancée's right to spend time with April, he basically shut down. He refused to make Anna understand that Lorelai was a permanent part of his life, and April should have the right to know her and vice versa. He also refused to talk to Lorelai to assure her that she did nothing wrong, that she had a right to spend time with his daughter, and that he would make things right with Anna.

She sighed. She had to figure out a way to get their relationship back on track. Suddenly, an idea popped into her mind. Without hesitation, she called Rory.

"Hey, sweets," she greeted Rory excitedly.

"Mom?" replied a sleepy voice. "Why are you calling at this god-forsaken hour?"

Lorelai took a quick peek at her alarm clock. It was seven o'clock in the morning. "So I just had this brilliant idea that I wanted to tell you about."

Rory yawned. "Fine, what is it?"

"I'm thinking of getting Luke to go with me to New York for the weekend of June 3rd. Then… maybe when we're there, I can convince him to get married on June 3rd, like we originally planned," she burst out. "I mean, he still changes the topic when I try to set a new wedding date, but maybe it's because he hates big weddings. He did say in Martha's Vineyard that he's open to eloping. This won't technically be eloping, but we can get married at the city hall and you can come and be with us. I think it would be great."

"But Mom…"

"And once we're married, Anna said April can meet me. So Luke won't have any reason not to let us spend time together. And everything would be great. You won't mind having a step-sister right? I mean, I heard she's really smart like you…"

"Mom…"

"She's more into math and science though, according to Lane. Luke doesn't really talk about her to me. He thinks it's weird or something. I don't know why. Seriously, I don't really understand a lot of what goes through his mind. But that doesn't matter, you know…"

"Mom," Rory interrupted. "I'm not sure it's the best idea."

"What? Why not?"

"Are you really, really sure that Luke is ready to get married in two weeks? I mean, is the delay or postponement or whatever it is really just because he hates big weddings? What if he's not ready? What if he says no? Or what if he feels pressured into getting married, and resents you afterwards?"

"He won't say no. He's been pining for me for years. Remember the horoscope?"

"I do, Mom, but I'm not sure if you guys are ready to get married right now."

"What do you mean? Of course, I'm ready! I told you I'm ready to take the next step!"

"Mom, I meant I'm not sure if _Luke_ is ready to get married."

Lorelai felt sobered. For some reason, she thought Rory would be on board her idea and would excitedly help her plan her New York wedding, but her reaction was making her really uncomfortable.

"Listen, hon, I get why you're worried. I'll… I'll think about this some more. I'll try to see where Luke's head is at. But can you promise to keep June 3rd open so you can drive up to New York for the wedding if and when I call you?"

"Of course, Mom. I just want you to be happy. You know that, right?"

"I do, I really do. I love you, sweets. Go back to sleep. Mommy's got some thinking to do."

"Love you, Mom."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Despite Rory's lack of excitement for the idea, Lorelai couldn't shake the thought that getting married would solve all of their problems. Luke has been getting more and more distant, spending more time back in his old apartment, always saying he had early deliveries or dinner with April as an excuse. After all, the main reason why things have been awkward between them was because she couldn't spend time with April, right? And Anna said that once they're married, she can meet April.

Luke wasn't exactly thrilled when she suggested a weekend away at New York. He hated traveling, he hated packing, he hated big cities. The list went on and on but Lorelai was undeterred. "C'mon, Luke, you need a break from the diner and everything else. It will be fun!" she wheedled.

Luke sighed. He knew that Lorelai would just wear him down until he said yes. He never even realized what the date was. "Okay, fine. But I'm not doing any touristy stuff with you."

Lorelai clapped her hands in glee. "We're gonna have so much fun, I promise! I'll even pack your bags for you so that there's one less thing to worry about," she rambled. "Oh, and I'll take care of the accommodations and plan our itinerary. Seriously hon, all you have to do is drive us there and relax. I'll take care of everything."

He tried to seem excited for her sake. It was not easy considering his mind was still on how to get Anna to forgive him about the party. "Sure, thanks," he replied absent-mindedly.

If Lorelai was bothered by his less than enthusiastic response, she didn't let on. She kept talking animatedly about the things they could do in New York. He was barely listening to her when she tapped his shoulder. "Luke! I said should I go upstairs now?"

"G-go upstairs?" he asked, confused. "Why?"

"To pack your bags, silly."

"But it's a week away."

"I know! But I'm excited! Aren't you?"

"I, uh… sure. The bag I used for April's school trip is at my closet. You can use that."

"The one from Anna?" Lorelai inquired.

"Yep, that's the one."

Lorelai hesitated for a second. "Why don't we just pack one bag for both of us? I have a luggage which my mom bought for Rory when they went to Europe. It should fit all our clothes for the weekend."

Luke shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, whatever you say."

"Hey Luke, now that we're on the topic of packing and stuff…" Lorelai began hesitantly. "I was just wondering… uh, when will you move into our place?"

"Our place?"

"The Crap Shack," she said with an edge to her voice. "The same house you renovated to fit both of us. To be honest, it's a bit too big for just one of us. If the other had no plans of moving in, then the renovations should never have happened…"

"Oh," Luke replied awkwardly. "Uh, soon. I'll move in soon, I promise. It's just that I need to keep my apartment for when April comes to visit."

"April is always welcome at the Crap Shack, you know."

Luke shook his head in resignation. _It's too soon_ , he thought to himself _._ "Let's just drop this, Lorelai," Luke said with a sigh. It seemed that he rarely had a conversation with Lorelai lately that didn't end up with the beginning of another argument about April or Anna.

Lorelai gave him a look and turned away.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-


	4. June 3rd, 2005: The Heartbreak Hotel

**Chapter 4 – June 3** **rd** **, 2005: Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel**

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Their first day in New York turned out pretty similar to their first day in Martha's Vineyard. Luke was cranky and complained about everything, from the smell of the streets, to the concierge at the hotel. He thought the towels were too scratchy, and the surroundings too noisy. Lorelai started to get worried that things might not go as well as she hoped, but she tried to keep her spirits up.

The morning of June 3rd dawned bright and sunny. Lorelai excitedly got up – it was time for her big surprise. She called the city hall the day before and scheduled a 4 pm wedding for one Luke Danes and one Lorelai Gilmore. She wanted to see his reaction when she told him the big news.

She looked around. Where was he? He wasn't in their bed, and he wasn't at the bathroom either. It took her a second to realize that Luke was nowhere in their hotel room at all. She put on a robe and opened the door to see if he was at the hallway.

He was on his cell phone, talking to someone. He nodded to Lorelai and gestured to the door, subtly asking her to go back to their room. She did, with a sinking heart.

He came in after a few minutes, shifting uncomfortably. "Listen, Lorelai, I need to go."

Lorelai was taken aback. "Why?"

"I have to go to Woodbridge. Seems like a pipe burst in Anna's house, and she needs some help."

Lorelai was quiet for a moment. "Can't she call a plumber?"

"Why should she get someone to do it when I can do it myself for free?"

"But we're in New York… It would take hours. Won't it be better to get someone now?"

"It's still early. Traffic won't be too bad. I can be there in no time."

Lorelai was silent for a moment. "Can I… Can I come with you?" she asked in a small voice.

Luke appeared shocked at the suggestion. "What? Oh, no, no… That would be… I mean April would be there… Uh, I'll just drive you back to Stars Hollow first."

Lorelai turned away. "Never mind, Luke. I understand." She paused for a few minutes, trying to keep her voice even. "You, uh, you go ahead. I think I'll stay here for another day."

"What? Alone?"

"I'll call Rory. I'm sure she'll come. I mean, I already paid for one more night in this hotel room anyway, so I might as well use it. It would give me and Rory time to catch up and do some shopping too."

Luke felt strangely relieved. "You sure?"

"Yeah. Drive safe," she said without another glance at him, walking to the bathroom and locking the door. "I'll pack our things. Don't worry about it. Just go."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

After Luke left, she didn't call Rory right away. Rory would never tell her _I told you so,_ but she would feel the shame all the same. _I should have listened to_ Rory, she thought sadly. _This was such a bad idea._

She started raiding the hotel's mini bar and drank all the alcohol she could find. There wasn't much, so she went out and bought a bottle of tequila. She hadn't had a proper breakfast yet except for one pop tart, so she got drunk fairly quickly. She didn't even remember drunk dialing Rory around 11 in the morning to tell her the wedding was not happening.

Rory, who was on standby that day, rushed to drive all the way from Yale to New York to take care of her mom. When she knocked at the hotel door, a voice slurred out, "Who is it?"

"Mom? It's me. Open up."

Rory heard the sound of someone getting up slowly and walking to the door. Suddenly, she heard a crash. "Mom? Are you okay?"

She heard some muttered curses. "Yes, sorry hon. Give me a sec, will you?"

After several minutes, the door opened. Rory was stunned at the sight of her mom wearing the blush-colored wedding dress she bought a few months ago. She was holding a bottle of tequila with one hand and holding up the other hand nonchalantly, watching trickles of blood flowing through her fingers.

"What happened, Mom? Are you okay?" she asked in panic.

Lorelai waved her bleeding hand erratically over her head. "Everything's fine, sweetie. _I'm_ fine. _Luke's_ fine. _April's_ fine. _Anna's_ fine. _Everything_ is fine except for Anna's stupid, freaking pipes."

"Pipes?" Rory asked, fully confused.

"Stupid, freaking pipes." She muttered to herself.

"Mom, you're not making any sense. Where's Luke?"

"Mr. Fix-It had to go to Woodbridge to fix some pipe for Anna."

"And he left you like this?"

"No, of course not. When he left, I was still my sleepy yet dazzling self."

"And what time did you start drinking?"

"Right after he left. Thought it would be fun," she grinned. "Hey! What are you doing here Rory? The wedding's not happening, sorry you had to go all the way here to find out."

"Mom, you called me," she reminded Lorelai.

"I did not!"

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did too," Rory answered. "Anyway, what happened to your hand?"

"Your knock surprised me, I dropped something. I tried to pick it up but I guess I cut my hand. No biggie," she said nonchalantly.

"Let me look at it."

Lorelai walked closer and Rory got a sniff of the alcohol in her mom's breath. "There should be a first aid kit in this room, right?"

"At the bathroom, sweetie," Lorelai said, collapsing on the bed.

"Okay, I'm gonna clean up your hand and put a bandage on. It's a small cut, so there's nothing to worry about."

"Sure," Lorelai slurred out, about to pass out.

Rory grabbed a bottle of water and some aspirin. "Here mom, take this first before you sleep."

Lorelai was about to protest that she wasn't drunk, but didn't have energy to fight. She took the aspirin and gulped some water.

"So you want to talk about it, Mom?"

"Not really," she replied. "Hey, can you help me take off this stupid dress? I want to go to sleep."

Rory helped unzip the dress. "This really is a beautiful dress, Mom. Should I pack it for you?"

Lorelai shook her head. "No, I don't… I don't really want to see it again. This is it, sweets. I don't think it's gonna happen. I think I'll just donate this to Goodwill or something. What do you think?"

"What's not gonna happen?"

"The wedding. Me and Luke. Looks like it's gonna be over."

"Did he say that?"

"Not in so many words, but he's more of an action guy anyway. He always says he lets his actions speak."

"Maybe you should still keep this dress, Mom," Rory argued. "It's really pretty. And it looks good on you."

"Yeah, but if I'm never getting married anyway, there's no use holding on to it." Lorelai plopped down unceremoniously on the bed, wearing a tank top and shorts. "Anyway, just forget it, hon. I don't need to be married to be happy, you know. As long as I have you, I'm good."

Rory looked at her mother with pity in her eyes. She was obviously trying to convince someone that she was okay. Whether she was trying to convince her daughter or herself, Rory wasn't sure. She stroked her mother's forehead. "Shhh Mom, just go to sleep. When you wake up, I'll take you shopping."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Luke knocked. When Anna opened the door, she had a slightly amused expression on her face. "Traffic in the Hollow, Luke?" she asked, with a smile.

Luke looked at his watch. "Hey, I didn't take that long."

"I was just kidding."

"Sorry for the wait, though," he said, walking into the house. "I actually came from New York."

"New York?" Anna said, surprised. "I had no idea you were out of town! Why didn't you tell me? I could have gotten a plumber from around here."

"That's not necessary," Luke replied. "So where's the pipe?"

"This way," Anna gestured towards the laundry area. Luke followed her with the toolbox in his hand. Thank goodness it was in his truck that day, saving him a trip back to Stars Hollow to get it. He crouched down to inspect the pipe – there was a leak, and it was dripping all over the floor, but it wasn't as serious as he thought. He began to wonder if he made the right decision in coming out here and leaving Lorelai alone in New York after all.

"So what were you doing in New York?" Anna asked conversationally.

"I, uh, I was with Lorelai."

Anna was surprised. "You left her there? By herself? She must be pissed."

"No, she was very understanding. She said her daughter will drop by so she won't be alone anyway."

"How old is her daughter by the way? Should the girl even be travelling by herself?"

"Oh, she's in Yale. She's twenty-one. I'm sure April told you about her."

"Yeah, but it doesn't seem to make sense. How old was your girlfriend when she had her daughter?"

Luke was uncomfortable, but he had to answer. "Sixteen." He never even bothered to correct the term girlfriend to remind Anna that Lorelai was not just a girlfriend, but his _fiancée_. He was trying hard to keep in Anna's good graces so he could see April as often as he wanted.

"Sixteen, huh? And how old is _your_ daughter now, Luke?"

"What the hell are you asking me for?" Luke said, annoyed. "We both know April's thirteen."

"This is just another reason why I don't want April spending time with your girlfriend," she said evenly. "What if Lorelai tells her how good her life is even though she got pregnant at sixteen?"

"That's not gonna happen."

"What if April asks Lorelai if she regrets having her daughter at such a young age. What would Lorelai say?"

Luke remembered Lorelai's talk at Stars Hollow High when she was ambushed by all the questions from the students. Of course, she never regretted having Rory. She regretted having her so young, but Rory was her life. He didn't know what to say and gave Anna a dirty look.

"And what if April decides in three years, hey, I can go get pregnant and things won't be so bad. Look at Lorelai!"

"April isn't stupid, Anna."

"So you're saying Lorelai was stupid for getting pregnant at sixteen?"

Luke got angry. "I did not say that." He felt like he should say more, maybe tell her how Lorelai was a great mom, how she sacrificed everything for her daughter, how selfless and kind she was, how she built a life for herself and Rory despite her young age. But he didn't know what to say and kept silent.

Anna waited for him to defend his girlfriend but when he didn't, she smirked. "Anyway, thanks for helping out Luke. I'll get you a cup of tea and call April to keep you company."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Luke was done with the repair in less than an hour. He wondered if he should go back to the hotel to surprise Lorelai, but to be honest, Anna's comments about Lorelai's teen pregnancy shook him. As her friend and her fiancé, it never bothered him that she got pregnant at sixteen. She made a mistake. Everybody does. She did well for herself and never let it define her. But as a father of a teenage girl himself – he had to wonder if she might become a bad influence to April, as Anna suggested.

Somehow in all his thoughts, he conveniently forgot that Anna wasn't such a great role model for April either. He forgot how angry he was that she never even told him – the ex-boyfriend, not just some random one-night stand, and the father, the _father!_ of her baby – that she was pregnant. She raised April alone, telling her that she had a deadbeat father who never wanted her.

In Luke's confusion, he decided to head back to the diner. Lane and Cesar was surprised to see him back, but he made some incoherent excuse and went up to his apartment and got a beer.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-


	5. June 3rd, 2006: A Year After

**Chapter 5 – June 3** **rd** **, 2006: A Year After the Wedding that Never Was**

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Lorelai has been dreading June 3rd this year, because she knew it would only remind her of two things. First, that she didn't get to marry the man she loved on June 3rd last year, and second, that the man she was supposed to marry on June 3rd last year left her alone in New York because another woman called him, a woman he was now in a relationship with just a few months after they broke up.

Rory knew that this day would be tough for her mom, so she called her a few weeks before June 3rd.

"Hey mom. Want to get out of New Jersey for a few days?"

"Hey sweets. That sounds great! I'll have to see if I can get off work though. I was only supposed to stay here at the Garden Inn for six months, but it's been more than that and I still can't turn this place around. Man, I wonder if Mike Armstrong will fire me."

"I'm sure he won't. He knows you're trying really hard but you keep butting heads with that snooty General Manager. He kinda makes you miss Michel, though, doesn't he?"

"Actually, Mike told me he wanted to fire Steve. The top reason why the staff turnover here is so high is that everybody hates working for Steve. But I told him to give me a bit more time, before we go and fire the poor guy."

"Poor guy? He called me a blue-eyed doe-face when I visited you there."

"Oh, don't worry about him. So, when do you want to go?"

"I was actually thinking maybe the first week of June?"

"Any reason in particular?" Lorelai asked gaily, before it suddenly dawned on her. "Oh. June 3rd."

"Yeah," replied Rory hesitantly. "I just don't want you calling me dead drunk at 11 in the morning."

Lorelai tried to smile at the painful memory. "Sorry again about that, kid. Never wanted you to see me like that."

"It's okay, Mom. I still can't get over the fact that you and Luke didn't get married."

"I know, sweetie. But it's really time to move on. He's seeing someone else now, remember?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." After a pause, Rory continued. "So, how are you taking it Mom?"

"It's fine. I'm fine, really," she said, trying to sound convincing. "I mean, I _did_ leave him that night and flew off to New Jersey and took this job to get away from him. I never picked up his calls – I get why he would want to move on."

"But it's Luke…"

"Rory, seriously, you and Sookie have to stop saying that. What does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know. I just… I just can't believe he'd give up on you that easily."

"Listen, Rory, he gave up on me way before we broke up. You knew that, right? He was already out by then. Maybe he just couldn't figure out how to break up with me or something. Like, how does a man ask for a ring back? I wonder if people do that."

"I'd rather not know."

"Yeah, neither do I," Lorelai sighed. "Anyway, if you want to take a short trip somewhere before you start with your fancy new job at the New York Times, fine by me. But it doesn't have to be on June 3rd just because you're worried about your mommy getting drunk over an ex-boyfriend."

"Ex fiancé you mean."

"You know what, I hate that word now," Lorelai mused. "I don't think I ever want to be engaged again. I've already been engaged twice and it never got me to where I wanted to be. It never made me a wife. Maybe when I meet someone else, I'd tell him – if you want to get married, just tell me and we'll elope. I don't want an engagement ring, let's just go do it."

"I hope you're not going to say that on the first date," Rory laughed. "That will scare the guy."

"Maybe the second date, then?"

"Probably a good idea to hold off until the third date."

"Deal." Lorelai giggled. "Anyway, don't worry about me. I'll be fine on the 3rd. In fact, I think I'm working double shifts on that day, it's better if I keep busy anyway. Plus I can go out for drinks with Andy and the gang after work."

"If you're sure mom."

"Yes I am, sweets. Talk to you soon?"

"You got it."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

When June 3rd dawned, Lorelai intentionally made sure she would be busy the whole day to avoid thinking of the pesky _what ifs_.

 _What if she told Luke how she felt sooner?_ Maybe they'd still be together, maybe they'd even be married by now. But if she really thought about it, that wouldn't work, because she tried that a few times and he would always brush her off. And if she pushed harder to make him understand, he'd break up with her. She knew that from experience.

 _What if she didn't leave Stars Hollow when she broke up with him?_ Maybe he'd wake up and realize that he was losing her, has already lost her. Maybe he'd stop taking her for granted and would want to get back together again. Maybe they'd even be married by now.

 _STOP,_ she thought to herself. _All these thoughts of being together and getting married are not helping. He's with Anna now. He's with Anna and April. He has the whole package – the one he didn't want to have with you._

With a sigh, she tried to get her mind to focus back on the Garden Inn. Mike Armstrong offered her a job to work in the struggling properties owned by the Durham Group and turn it around. She was supposed to talk to guests and employees, figure out what the problems were, and work closely with the General Manager to make things work. At first, she thought six months should be more than enough, but she couldn't make much headway with Steve Parker, the universally hated General Manager, who she didn't want to fire unless it was really a last resort.

She tried to keep busy the whole day, never letting herself be alone with her thoughts unless absolutely necessary. She felt she was doing well until she saw a man holding flowers nervously at the door, looking around. She suddenly remembered that fateful day at the Dragonfly trial run when Luke showed up with flowers for her, and she banged her head on a door frame out of sheer nervousness. She all but ran to her office and slammed the door shut, before she collapsed on the couch.

She kept trying to hold her sobs in, worried that someone may hear her, but the pain of remembering was too much. She allowed herself ten minutes to cry – to cry for her what ifs and her shattered dreams and most importantly, to cry for the only man she ever loved. It was therapeutic, and she was able to control her emotions soon enough.

Meanwhile, in Stars Hollow, Luke was wiping the counter silently and trying not to listen to Zack and Lane's chitchat while they were closing up the diner. They seemed to be reminiscing about a trip to Mexico that they had before, but Luke didn't quite catch it. Those two didn't strike him as well suited for each other at first, but they seemed to be very happy together.

"So Luke, have you ever been to Mexico?" Zack said out of the blue, interrupting his thoughts.

Luke stopped wiping and looked at him. "No, not really. Was it any good?"

"Man, I'm never going back. We had the worst honeymoon ever."

"Oh c'mon," interrupted Lane. "There were some good things about the honeymoon, Zack."

"Yeah, like the twins," he replied with a laugh. Lane giggled.

"Hey, I never asked you both about how your wedding was," Luke said suddenly. "I heard it was fun."

"Yeah man, we had two weddings!" Zack replied enthusiastically. "The first one was in front of this giant Buddha and I did not understand a word, but let me tell you – a robe is a fine thing for a man to wear! So light and airy."

Luke suddenly remembered Liz and TJ's wedding, and how he kept talking about "air pants." That was the moment he decided to risk everything and finally show Lorelai how he felt for her all those years. He couldn't forget the look of surprise in her face when he asked her to dance, and how they both could not seem to stop smiling at each other. It was his first time to hold her that close, and it just felt right.

He realized that Zack was still talking to him, so he shook his head to clear his thoughts and tried to focus his attention back on him and Lane.

"And the toasts were hilarious as well. Except Lorelai's. That was kinda weirdly sad, man."

"Zack!" Lane nearly shouted.

"What?" Luke asked.

Lane suddenly grabbed Zack's hand and took off his apron. "So Luke, we'll see you tomorrow, we have to rush home now, Mama Kim will have a fit if we don't get home soon to get the twins."

"Wait, wait," Luke called out. "What was Zack talking about?"

Zack and Lane exchanged a look. "Sorry man, I shouldn't have brought it up," Zack replied sheepishly. "I really wasn't thinking. And that was long ago, it shouldn't matter anymore."

"I thought she sang Endless Love while drunk?"

Lane took a deep breath. "That was just the story Miss Patty came up with to cover up what Lorelai said during her toast."

"She gave a toast? Nobody ever told me that."

"Yeah, well… It was sad and embarrassing and really awkward for Lorelai, so the whole town decided you didn't need to know about it. Sorry, Luke," Lane said, looking at the ground.

"What did she say?" Luke asked, afraid of what he might find out.

"She… uh, she said she was really happy for me and Zack, that we found love at such a young age," Lane explained, trying to be diplomatic. "And she congratulated us for getting married, saying that everyone would probably get married before her because it's just not gonna happen, and that everyone could make plans on June 3rd because she wasn't getting married on that day. That really surprised everyone, because we all thought your June 3rd wedding was on although we, uh… we did notice that you were growing a bit distant."

"Man, how weird is it? It's June 3rd today!" Zack interjected.

Luke glanced briefly at his watch, surprised that it was indeed June 3rd. He wondered if Lorelai was somewhere thinking of him. "Hey, thanks for telling me," he told Lane slowly. "Tell you what, I think I'll close the diner tomorrow. I… I think I need a break. I'll still pay you and all, but you don't need to come in tomorrow, okay?"

Lane looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed. "Are you sure? Where are you going?"

"Fishing," Luke replied automatically. He headed for his apartment upstairs, wanting to be alone. "Lock the door on your way out. And could you call Cesar and tell him we're closed tomorrow?"

"Sure, man," Zack replied. He took Lane's hand and walked out the door.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-


	6. June 3rd, 2010: Five Years After

**Chapter 6 – June 3rd, 2010: Five Years After the Wedding that Never Was**

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Luke sipped his beer slowly, not bothering to look around the hotel bar and restaurant. He was here on the 3rd of June for the third time in the last three years, here in the New York hotel where Lorelai took him five years ago, hoping against hope that she could get him to marry her. Luke shook his head at the thought. Lorelai Victoria Gilmore – the woman he loved from afar for eight years, the woman he wanted to marry and have children with – _she_ had to go to such extreme measures to try to keep _him_ around.

The last time he saw Lorelai was at Rory's graduation party. That was when he realized that he never stopped loving her, and probably never would. He broke up with Anna soon after and filed for joint custody to ensure he would still have access to April. Anna fought dirty and dug up every piece of dirt she could find – including his inability to keep a long-term relationship, and that he did not have a woman in his life to help him understand how to raise a teenage girl. Thankfully, with the help of a brilliant letter of recommendation from his nephew Jess on how Luke was the father he never had, the judge decided to award joint custody.

A man in a suit sat next to him at the bar with a slight nod. He ordered a gin martini, and Luke remembered that it was Lorelai's drink of choice as well. For him, he always stuck with beer, or occasionally some whiskey. He never had a problem drinking, but lately he noticed himself drinking alone more and more. He was forty-five, alone, and worst of all he was lonely. He didn't have any close friends at Stars Hollow – Lorelai was the only one who got close to him in all the years he lived there.

He was in the middle of remembering how kind she was when his Uncle Louie died, when he noticed the guy beside him staring intently at someone at a nearby table. He called the bartender over and asked him to send a gin martini to the pretty lady in the blue dress. Out of curiosity, he snuck a peek at the woman who took the suit guy's attention, and drew a sharp breath when he realized it was Lorelai.

She looked absolutely stunning. She didn't seem to have aged a bit since they last saw each other four years ago. Her hair was slightly shorter, and came down her shoulders in soft waves. She was wearing a form-fitting dark blue dress that showed off her figure perfectly. She sat alone in a table, leafing through a magazine, looking slightly bored. When the bartender handed her the drink, she looked flattered. Luke immediately turned to face the other way in case she looked towards the bar to smile her thanks to the suit man for the drink.

Suit man seemed pleased with himself and got off the bar stool, walking deliberately to Lorelai's table. Luke held his breath, trying not to watch and see if Lorelai would let him sit at her table. Thankfully, he saw her give him an apologetic smile and gestured towards the door vaguely, and suit man walked back to the bar and plonked himself beside Luke again.

 _Guess this putz struck out_ , he thought, elated. _Wonder how she'd react if she sees me?_

He was gathering courage to go to her table when he noticed another guy approaching her. The guy was tall and had unruly dark hair, which looked like he didn't bother with. He wore black-rimmed glasses and a black leather jacket with jeans. To his dismay, Lorelai immediately stood up and went over to the guy when she noticed him. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and began to drag him to their table, shoving the magazine to his hand and pointing excitedly at something.

The man took a second to look at the page she was pointing at and gave her a big hug. Luke wasn't near enough to hear their conversation, but he could guess it was about something in the magazine. By the familiar way they kissed and hugged, he assumed they've been in a relationship for some time now. He settled back into the bar stool and asked for another beer.

He watched them surreptitiously the whole night. He noticed how Lorelai's eyes sparkled and how she giggled often. He noticed how the guy kept a steady glance at her, and even from afar he could see the love in his eyes. He craned his neck to see if there was a ring on Lorelai's finger and was pleased to note there was none. He wondered if he could get a chance to talk to her before the night was over.

His chance came when someone called the guy over from another table. Unruly hair guy stood up with alacrity and after a few quick words with Lorelai, he stood up and walked over to join some friends. Luke stood up and slowly walked over to Lorelai, who was back to leafing through the magazine. He cleared his throat, and waited for Lorelai to look up.

"Hi."

Her surprise was evident. "Luke! Luke Danes! Whatever are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied with a smile. Mind if I sit for a bit?"

"Sure, sure, have a seat," she said warmly. "Andy won't be back for maybe 10 minutes or so."

"Andy, huh?"

"Yeah," she said with a smile, with just the slightest hint of discomfort. "How about you? Are you still with Anna?"

"No," he replied. "We actually broke up after Rory's graduation party."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

There was uncomfortable silence between them. "So Luke, you never told me what you're doing here in this big smelly city. You've always said you hated it here in New York."

Luke didn't reply immediately and wondered if he should just tell her the truth. He didn't have much time, knowing that Andy may be back any minute now, so he decided to just go for it. "I, uh, I've actually been coming to this hotel bar every year on the same day."

Lorelai seemed genuinely puzzled. "Why?"

"It's, uh, it's June 3rd today. Not sure if you knew that."

Lorelai seemed puzzled. He looked down in embarrassment. Here he was like a love sick puppy while Lorelai couldn't even remember the significance of the date. When she finally did after several minutes of awkward silence, the surprise in Lorelai's face was evident. Her face instantly colored. "Oh. I… I didn't even remember."

Luke shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess I like getting out of the diner once a year and come here to think about stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, well, never mind," he said, embarrassed. He could see Lorelai was confused and was looking at him with her eyebrows furrowed. He forced a smile. "So anyway, how have you been? What are you doing here?

"Oh, I live here now. Been living in the Big Apple for the past three years, I think."

"I didn't know you wanted to live in a city. You always said you were a small town girl."

"And I am, and I do miss Stars Hollow, and small town life… but I guess things change," she said with a small smile.

Luke sipped his beer slowly, trying to decide the best way to say what he wanted to say. "Hey, so listen, I know your, uh, boyfriend will probably be back anytime now... I wonder if, uh, he'd mind if we meet for lunch or dinner tomorrow? I mean, only if you're free and only if both of you are okay with it…"

Lorelai had to smile at how fidgety and nervous Luke was. She reached over to give him a small pat in his hand but the unexpected electricity she felt at the touch surprised her. She quickly removed her hand. "I'm sure it will be okay. We have dinner plans tomorrow, but I can do lunch if you like?"

"That would be great, thanks," he mumbled. "I, uh, I'll call you. Do you have the same number?"

Lorelai smiled. "Yes, same number." Luke stood up and seemed to be thinking of what to say, so Lorelai decided to help him out. "So… I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Luke nodded. "I'll see you Lorelai," he replied and walked back to the bar.

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Luke tried to smile and act normally, but for heaven's sake, this was Lorelai Victoria Gilmore in front of him, eating a steak. He felt like a high school dork having lunch with the head cheerleader.

"So how have things been with you? How is Rory?"

"Rory's great. She's been with the New York Times for a few years now, she thinks she may be able to get her own by-line soon. And she lives very close to where I live, so we see each other several times a week."

"So… she likes Andy?"

"Of course. He's a writer too, did I tell you that?"

Luke shook his head. "No, was that how you met? I mean, did Rory introduce you guys?"

Lorelai giggled easily. "No, I actually met him when I was living in New Jersey."

"New Jersey?" Luke asked. "Oh, I recall you went there after we… after you left Stars Hollow."

Lorelai blushed. "Yeah. I was only supposed to stay there for a year max then go back to Dragonfly and Stars Hollow, but when the time came, I, uh, I felt like I didn't have much reason to go back, so I took a job in New York."

Luke wondered if she thought he was still with Anna that time and if that was one of the reasons she didn't go back. By the way she was furiously cutting her steak and not looking at him, perhaps it was not unlikely.

"So you met Andy when you were in New Jersey?" He didn't want to pry but he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah, so, uh… my twenties were quite unique because I had Rory so young, so I never experienced going out for drinks after work and so on. Rory encouraged me to make friends at work, and sometimes she would come in and we would go out to bars for a drink. One time, we went to this bar which was having a movie trivia night, and Rory and I were like – _oh we're gonna totally win this_. I mean our entire lives were spent watching as many movies as we can. But then there was this guy who knew the answers to nearly all the questions. I was so annoyed that we lost that I wouldn't even shake his hand after."

Luke smiled. "You can be a sore loser sometimes."

"Yeah, well anyway, that was Andy."

"The guy with all the answers?"

"Yep."

"What is he – some kind of movie freak?"

"Turns out he's a film critic for the New York Times and a bunch of other publications. He was in New Jersey that week to see his family."

"Wow," Luke said, sipping his water slowly. "So I guess you got your very own movie guy."

Lorelai remembered the time Luke told her he could be a movie guy for her. "I guess so."

"And you've been together since then?"

"We haven't been together for more than a year, to be honest. We've just been really good friends. I guess you can call him my best friend after Rory and Sookie and…, uh, that's it." She looked so uncomfortable that Luke wondered what she was supposed to say.

Luke took a deep breath "I'm… I'm happy for you, Lorelai. Really. I just wanted you to be happy."

Lorelai looked at him and forced a smile. "Thanks Luke. I wish you the same. Joy and happiness. And love."

Luke tried to dispel the sudden uncomfortable air. "Hey, so I guess you're getting the whole package after all? I assume you guys will get married and have kids?"

Lorelai 's eyes suddenly watered and she looked down and began to poke at her potatoes. "Oh, I'm not so sure about that."

Luke's heart suddenly soared. Perhaps he still had a chance? "So, uh, you're not sure about Andy?"

Lorelai shook her head. "No, about Andy I'm sure. It's just… I can't have kids anymore."

Luke suddenly felt cold. He knew she always wanted to have another kid. "I… I'm sorry Lorelai."

"Yeah, well, I found out a few years ago…"

"When we were still together?" Luke asked, not able to stop himself.

"No, it was several months after we broke up."

"So if… if we got married on June 3rd like we were supposed to and tried to have kids… Maybe we still could?"

"Really, Luke, I don't want to think of any what ifs," Lorelai snapped. "And that's rich, coming from you."

"I'm sorry." Luke said quietly. "I really am."

"Yeah I'm sure you are," Lorelai said sarcastically. "We've only broken up for what – three months – before you got together with April's mom?"

"I, uh... It wasn't… How did you know that?"

"Never mind how I know. I'm just saying – I don't want to talk about our past. We were friends, we got together, it didn't work out, the end."

"I'm sorry."

Lorelai was quiet for a few minutes trying to quell the sudden onslaught of emotion. If she was really over Luke, should she still feel the old anger and hurt? _I'm with Andy now_ , she reminded herself. _Luke can't hurt me anymore._

After several minutes, Luke cleared his throat. "For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about everything I've done to hurt you. You have no idea how sorry I am."

Lorelai finally looked up at him. She could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I know you're sorry, Luke. I'm sorry too. It just didn't work out. That happens."

Luke tried not to say it but the words slipped through before he could stop himself. "I really miss you, Lorelai."

"Luke, I'm with Andy now."

"I know. I'm sorry. That wasn't appropriate."

"No, it wasn't." Lorelai abruptly changed the subject to reduce the awkwardness. "So what do you think about Morey and Babette's new gnome?" she asked with a giggle.

"You know about that?"

"Of course, I do!" Lorelai replied. "I drive over to Stars Hollow every two weeks to see everyone."

"You do? How come I never see you?"

"Oh you know how it is. If I drop by the diner, I'm sure it would start the rumor mill again, and I can't really have that. Not when Andy and I are thinking of moving to Stars Hollow."

Luke almost choked on his salad. "You're moving back to Stars Hollow?"

Lorelai looked at him evenly. "Andy asked me a few times if I wanted to move back, but I'm not sure he's cut out for small town life. That's the only reason why I haven't moved back yet."

"Well, you're always welcome back… to Stars Hollow and to the diner." Luke replied, trying to hide his emotion. He didn't even know what to feel. The prospect of seeing Lorelai everyday again made his heart soar. But the idea of seeing him with someone else was like a dagger in his heart.

"Thanks, we'll think about it."

"Are you… are you getting married soon?"

Lorelai giggled at some distant memory. "I expect so."

"What do you mean?" Luke asked, confused.

Lorelai tried to keep her giggling in check. "Sorry Luke, it's just that… it's something Rory and I talked about that I only remembered now, and it made me laugh."

Luke smiled. "You mind sharing it with me?"

Lorelai's huge smile faded a bit. "Okay, so when we just… I mean, when I was still… uh, a few years ago, I told Rory I never want to be engaged again. And Rory asked if that meant I was never going to get married, and I said no, I still want to get married, and get the whole package, if I do meet someone new. But I said I'd rather we elope and get married right then and there, than get another engagement ring that leads to nowhere."

Luke flinched but tried to cover up quickly. "Okay, I still don't get what's so funny."

"So Rory said I shouldn't tell this to a guy on the first date, because it would, you know, scare off the guy obviously. But she ended up blurting it out the first night we went out for drinks with Andy and a bunch of other friends. Although Andy and I weren't dating then, I guess in a way you could say that was our first date."

"So she likes Andy?"

"Rory and I never really thought that there would be anything romantic happening between Andy and me. He was… I don't know. He was just really laid back and became a really good friend to both of us really quickly. I mean, obviously Rory likes him – since he's a writer and all – and he's a film critic, so we three can talk movies all night."

"So what happened?"

"One day, I guess I realized that maybe the one I was looking for was right there in front of me. Apparently, he's had feelings for me for three or four years, but never said anything."

"Why not?"

"He thought I may not be over you."

"What?!" Luke sputtered in surprise.

"I told you we started out as really good friends. I guess, kind of like the way we started out. So he knows all about you. It helped to have someone to talk to when you're trying to get over someone, you know."

"I… I think I understand. That's how the thing with Anna started. I was feeling… lonely after you left, and I had nobody to talk to, so I started to open up to her."

Lorelai nodded, but didn't know what to say, so she took a bite of her potato.

"But I broke up with her very soon after. After I saw you again at Rory's graduation, I knew it wasn't right."

"You haven't been in a relationship after that?"

Luke shook his head. "Not really. I've been to two or three dates, usually set up by April or someone else, but that's pretty much it."

Lorelai stared at him for a few minutes until he felt uncomfortable. "Luke… I don't want you to be lonely your entire life. I… I hope you find the one for you. I really do."

Luke smiled with a tinge of sadness. "Yeah."

-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-oOo-


End file.
